Forum - KOTM Rewrite: Newsflash/Emma Introduction

I don't mean to thread-bump or anything, but a few days ago, I did a little rewrite of KOTM's opening scene, just to see if I could manifest some of my ideas for a future fan-rewrite. Any comments or constructive criticisms are greatly appreciated.

https://wikizilla.org/wiki/Topic:V9x44fxki88sdiuw